Giving Up the Grudge

Forgiveness is a command of Christ. It is liberating, and freeing us from resentment and bitterness. It is not vengeance, justice, or a free pass. You may have to offer forgiveness over and over again. If you offer forgiveness to your enemies, you are “placing them on the path of repentance.” The worse the wrong, the harder it is to forgive and the longer it may take to forgive. We must want to let go, and we must recognize our own sins. In order to forgive some one, you do not have to support or accept the wrong behavior. It does not mean that the person does not have pay for their crimes. The person that you forgive does not have to ask you for forgiveness; you can forgive the dead. There is no such thing as “forgive and forget.” You can forgive, but you never will forget. Forgiveness does not mean that you automatically trust the person you have forgiven. Trust has to be earned. Similarly, you do not have to be close to the person you have forgiven; you should treat them with kindness and respect.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (NIV Matthew 18:21-22)

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV Matthew 6:14-15)

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. (NIV 1 John 1:8-10)

In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now.” The Lord replied, “I have forgiven them, as you asked. (NIV Numbers 14:19-20)