Abuse and Divorce

I grew up in an abusive environment. However, when Child Protective Services stepped in and told my father that he would lose custody of his children if he could not stop, he turned his life around. He found God and what it means to be a Christian. My father ended up being a good man. Because of what I witnessed as a child, I knew what was right and what was wrong in a relationship.

Unfortunately, my knowledge did not keep me from marrying an abuser as well. I forgave him after the first dozen times; I even forgave him when he pushed me out of a moving vehicle on a busy city street. We went through counseling, but the abuse did not stop. After eighteen months, many stitches, broken bones, and the loss of a child, my ex-husband filed for divorce. I struggled with the fact that I am a Christian and divorced for several years. Although I knew if I had not divorced, I wouldn’t have survived; I still struggle with being divorced every day.

The Bible gives two acceptable reasons for divorce: the first is in the case of abandonment of a Christian by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15), and the second is if one partner is involved in a lifestyle of infidelity (Matthew 5:32). Although God allows divorce in these circumstances, He does not command it. It should be assumed that two Bible-believing Christians will not mutually agree to divorce, but will practice the forgiveness and love that God freely gives us. “'For I hate divorce!' says the Lord, the God of Israel” (Malachi 2:16).

Matthew 19:4-6 - In verse 4, "And He [Jesus] answered and said,  'Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said, 'For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh'? Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. "

Matthew 91:9: “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

Rick Warren: Bible Doesn’t Justify Divorce for Abuse ~ According to Pastor Rick Warren the only two biblical justifications for divorce are abandonment and a physical affair. Warren recommends that the couple "separate" and "undergo counseling." Warren continues to say that divorce cause lifelong pain and is a "selfish" act.

Under Warren's philosophy, me missing work for three weeks should be dealt with by trying to work things out with my husband and being beat again before I had a chance to heal, does not warrant divorce. I know what you are all thinking, "It's your own fault for not leaving. You should have gone somewhere that you were safe." However, there were no Noah's Projects where I lived; and had I sought one out, I would be putting my family, mother, sister, infant nephew, brother, and father at risk as a potential murder victim. This man who was supposed to honor and respect me had beat me with the butt of a .22 rifle before pointing it to my temple and threatening, "I swear to God, if you ever, ever try to leave me I am going to start killing off the members of your family until you come back!" My sacrifice was my family's protection. Instead, I did stay. We underwent therapy, but the beatings would continue, most often immediately after marriage counseling sessions because I told how I felt. Warren is right about one thing, I do carry lifelong pain with me, but not from being a divorced woman. The lifelong pain is the feeling that I am not good enough; and no matter how much love I gave, it was not enough to keep me safe. The lifelong pain is that I still have nightmares and have difficulty trusting males. The pain comes from waking up in tears because the memories of the severe, and I do mean severe, abuse still tortures me. I was seventeen when I married a man that treated me like a queen, a man that I trusted, and a man that showed no signs of abusive behaviors. I felt that I loved him, but I realize now, that feeling came from wanting better for myself than what my mother had. I wanted better for my future children than what I had; and though my father had changed, I did not want to wait twenty years for a husband to do so as my mother had. If that makes me a whore, a sinner, and adulteress, then so be it.

What does God's Word say about divorce because of an abusive situation, and remarriage after that? ~ Senior Pastor, Paul LeBoutillier, believes that all forms of abuse "is a sign of unrestrained selfishness and cruelty. It is impossible to be abusive and Christ-like at the same time. Any man who claims to know and serve Christ and who abuses his family is a hypocrite of the worst possible kind." LeBoutillier continues by defining abuse as "inflicting physical harm, and/or emotional distress by using abusive language or behavior with specific intent to demean, intimidate, threaten and tear down." LeBoutillier believes that the dangers of abuse warrant the separation of the abused from the abuser. However, LeBoutillier also believes that prayer and counseling along with separation should be the legitimate action according to the standards set up by scripture. Where LeBoutillier differs from Warren is he allows for divorce when the abuser files for divorce and does not wish to change his/her abusive behavior.

Under LeBoutillier's philosophy, though it is much like Warren's, I am not at fault although I am divorced. Though LeBoutillier does call for separation and counseling as well as waiting for the abuser to change, he believes that the abused is not at fault when all attempts fail and the abuser files for divorce. Therefore, I am not considered an adulteress because my ex-husband has sinned by filing for divorce, for not loving me and respecting me, and for not behaving as a Christian should behave.

A Biblical Response to the Abused Wife ~ The U.S. Department of Justice (2000) reported that “intimate partner violence is pervasive in U.S. society” (p. 5).  Approximately 25% of women surveyed were physically assaulted and/or raped by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime.  In a 10‑country study of domestic violence against women, the World Health Organization (2009) found that 15% to 71% of women disclosed sexual or physical violence by a partner or husband.  These statistics underscore the prevalence of intimate partner abuse, which counselors will likely encounter in their practices.  It is imperative for Christian counselors to have a biblical answer for abused wives who feel caught in the dilemma of how to obey God and yet preserve their very lives.  God’s covenantal design for marriage is broken by abuse, and Scripture does not mandate that an abused wife must remain married to an abuser; therefore, the body of Christ is called to model God’s compassion toward abused women through effective strategies designed to meet the needs of women who are trying to escape abusive relationships.

With this being said, I do not believe for a second that God wishes for His children to suffer. I do not believe that He would want a woman beaten half to death by the man who is to love, honor, and respect her to stay in that situation. I do believe that I did the right thing by waiting and trying to work it out, and I do believe that signing the papers saved my life. Sometimes, the only answer is to save yourself and find a way out.

American Literature and Religion

America has seen monumental changes amongst the people in the Twentieth Century. Though these changes have led to simpler lifestyles for the American people, the changes have also led to the alienation of many American individuals. These people often feel as if they are outcasts amongst their neighbors. Others have lost sight of God and what Christianity truly means. Others are left incapable of loving themselves; therefore, they feel apathetic toward the human community. Before isolated persons can reconnect with their society, they must determine the reason of their own self imposed isolation.

One cause of an individual’s detachment from the human race is his or her own preconceived notions of how society regards him or her. Often people refuse to recognize the fragmented aspects of American culture. One reoccurring, prevalent aspect of Twentieth Century literature is the existence of the otherness in characters, which is often exhibited as the unusual or foreign behaviors we do not understand. Too often, people fear that which they do not understand. For instance, on the way to a job interview, Bigger Thomas of Richard Wright’s Native Son carries with him a gun and knife. The young man felt the neighborhood he had entered “was a cold and distant world” (Wright, 1644). This same fear of white people led to Bigger’s natural distrust of them. Because Bigger is an outcast of the white American society due to his race, he knows he will not be treated fairly if he is discovered with Mary. Therefore, to save himself from imminent persecution, the young man smothers her to death. Though race is often the root of alienation, not all outcasts are pariahs of society due to race. Some, such as Flannery O’Connor’s Misfit in “A Good Man is Hard to Find” are rejected from society due to their inability to fulfill a basic human understanding of moral behavior. Often, Americans believe if a child is brought up with good morals by decent parents, as in the Misfit’s case, then the child will become a moralistically sound individual. However, this does not always ring true. Even after developing a bond with the grandmother, the Misfit could not seize the morals, which were once imprinted within him. Both Bigger and the Misfit were cast beyond the margins of society. They were victims of fear and degradation. Therefore, their response was violence, in order to guarantee self-preservation.

The assurance of self-preservation often leads to the decline of Christian behavior. Though many people claim to be of Christian faith, they often do not adhere to the Christian lifestyle. For instance, Rose in August Wilson’s “Fences” has lost sight of her faith. She does, however, devoutly cling to her church and her own salvation. Furthermore, Rose wishes for Jesus to build a fence around her to keep her safe. Regardless of her faith, Rose cannot be saved from the consequences of her choices. Her faith did not keep her from being a victim of adultery. However, Rose’s faith is what made her become a mother to Raynell. Rose tells Troy, “you can’t visit the sins of a father upon the child” (Wilson 2342).  In spite of her apparent Christian behavior, Rose has forgotten that Jesus taught forgiveness to his followers. She never learns to forgive Troy. The need for Americans to pick and choose what commands to follow has led to a distrust of the Christian faith. Due to this overwhelming distrust, more and more Americans turn away from God, because they are unable to find peace in His word. Therefore, they look for peace among the physical world. For instance, in his poem “Sunday Morning,” Wallace Stevens reflects the darkness seen in Christianity. Steven’s poem alludes to the innumerable injustices perpetrated in the name of Christianity. As an answer to Christianity, he offers the search for beauty within our imaginations and the physical world, which surrounds us. To Stevens, if a person can construct his world of beauty, then they can love.

However, the inability to love, find love, or be loved has also led to the alienation of many American individuals in the Twentieth century. Both Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath struggled with love. The poets came from dysfunctional families and were married to tyrannical husbands. For both women, their inability to feel and find love stemmed from their despondent upbringing. Plath suffered from an inconsolable longing. She had not found love in her childhood. In Plath’s poem “Daddy,” she compares her father to Hitler. To her, Plath’s father finds pleasure from torturing her. Her father was a brutal man who could not teach her love. Like Plath, Sexton alludes to an empty childhood. In her poem “Rowing,” Sexton suggests being immersed in a sea of mayhem where “there was life / with its cruel houses / and people who seldom touched” (lines 14-16). These lines allude to a longing of affection from the members of her family. Due to the family’s inability to love, Sexton was never able to develop her own ability to love. In “The Farmer’s Wife,” Sexton sees herself as a mere apparatus to be manipulated to subdue the lustful desires of her husband. Through their poetry, both women searched for their purpose, but could not find a suitable answer, which eventually led to their suicides.

A sense of purpose can be important in reintegrating oneself among the human community. To Robert Frost, the answer is a harmonic existence, which can be achieved when humankind chooses to live in unison with one another and nature. In his poem “Mending Wall,” Frost depicts the neighbor as a man who does not understand what makes good neighbors. To the man, putting walls between one another, both physically and mentally, is what brings a community together. However, Frost is careful to point out the inconsistency of his neighbor’s theory. In lines forty one and forty two, Frost wrote, “He moves in darkness as it seems to me, / Not of woods only and the shade of trees.” The man does not see the light. Instead, he has searched for a simple answer to the human condition. To Frost, there are no simple answers, which bring about spiritual experiences. It is through the integration of nature in one’s life that people become closer to human spirituality. However, nature is not the only answer to isolation. Living in harmony with our human community can bring those who are secluded back into society. In “The Sky is Gray,” by Ernest J. Gaines, the female shopkeeper reached out to the outcasts of her immediate community. She helps James and his mother by offering them a warm place to sit and eat. The woman says the food is a trade for chores, which did not need to be done. This woman offered compassion and warmth where others hid behind closed doors. By doing so, the woman is a step closer to living harmoniously with those on the outside of her town’s societal boundaries.

In order to alleviate alienation from society, people must learn to harmoniously function within society. They must forget their preconceived notions and assimilate, not necessarily conform. Conformity leads to mind numbness or, as Alfonse in DeLillo’s White Noise calls it, brain fade. Assimilation can most often be found in a functional Christian community. 1 Corinthians 12:11-13 tells Christians they are all a part of the body. Each part has its individual function; but without the whole of the Christian community, the individual part’s function is insufficient and ineffective. Also, through a Christian community, people can develop the ability to love, be loved, and find love. In Luke 10:27, Christians are told to love God, love their neighbors, and love themselves. The human existence depends on harmony between the people. Harmony, however, cannot be reached from self-segregation. The more we become dependent on technologies for human connection, the more alienated and apathetic we become.

Works Cited

Frost, Robert. “Mending Wall.” Anthology of American Literature. Vol. 2: 9th ed. Ed. David Bradley, Joseph Csicsila, Shelley F. Fishkin, James S. Leonard, George McMichael, and Dana D. Nelson. New Jersey: Prentice Hall. 2007: 1105-1106.

Sexton, Anne. “Rowing.” Anthology of American Literature. Vol. 2: 9th ed. Ed. David Bradley, Joseph Csicsila, Shelley F. Fishkin, James S. Leonard, George McMichael, and Dana D. Nelson. New Jersey: Prentice Hall. 2007: 1838-1839.

Wilson, August. “Fences.” Anthology of American Literature. Vol. 2: 9th ed. Ed. David Bradley, Joseph Csicsila, Shelley F. Fishkin, James S. Leonard, George McMichael, and Dana D. Nelson. New Jersey: Prentice Hall. 2007: 2303-2353.

Wright, Richard. “from Native Son.” Anthology of American Literature. Vol. 2: 9th ed. Ed. David Bradley, Joseph Csicsila, Shelley F. Fishkin, James S. Leonard, George McMichael, and Dana D. Nelson. New Jersey: Prentice Hall. 2007: 1643-1672.

Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes

Chris Crutcher’s novel Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes is a riveting novel about the pains of growing up both in a dysfunctional home and as an outsider in the teen scene. This touching story is packed full of believable characters and believable situations. It is a novel that often is considered for censorship, but is also a novel that could teach a great deal to young adults. It is a novel that can change the worlds of so many people who may need compassion and a helping hand.

For many young adults, growing up is painful, and compassion is difficult to find. According to Childhelp, an organization dedicated to meet the various needs of abused children, over three million cases of child abuse are reported each year. However, “experts estimate that the actual number of incidents of abuse and neglect is 3 times greater than reported” (Childhelp). This is a larger problem than many would like to admit, but Crutcher has done a great job bringing this issue to the forefront in this novel. Both Sarah Byrnes and Dale Thornton live with the problems, which arise from being raised in an abusive home. Sarah is a prankster who laughs at everything. Dale is a bully that passes on the abusive treatment he has received and learned from his father. They both have built up a wall between themselves and the world. Neither child has an adult they can trust, and they are both fully aware that telling what happens in their homes would only cause more trouble. As we learn more about Sarah’s father, it becomes quite clear why the child would fake a catatonic state.

Though it is hard for many people to understand why a child would rather spend time in a psychiatric hospital than their own home, people who have been in Sarah’s situation know when there is too much physical pain, a person will do almost anything to get away from it. Her situation is just as believable as every other situation in the book. Crutcher’s background as a therapist has served him well in writing this novel. Amazingly, Sarah does not pity herself the way she does the children who have the emotional and mental scarring inside; she does not believe she is like them. It is not until she writes the letter to Eric that she begins to realize that she acts tough and mean to hide her own pain. Sarah is not the only character whose true-to-life dysfunctional family is noticeable. Mark’s family, though not physically abusive, is just as dysfunctional than Sarah’s. Mark’s father pushes him so hard to be the perfect son that he makes bad decisions which leads to his suicide attempt. Though the father feels he is a good Christian man he has forgotten the words of his Messiah, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Mark 10:14). The pressure from Mark’s father has deterred the young man from his Christian responsibility to uphold the rules set down in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, which basically says we should not fornicate. Sure Mark can spin a fine yarn as he stands upon his pulpit preaching about the sins of abortion; however, he does not seem to be able to practice what he preaches. Is this situation believable? Yes, it is common for people to fail to be able to refrain from the sins they preach against. This is seen every day in newspaper headlines across the country.

Another situation that makes the novel believable is the situation with Carver. He goes after Virgil Byrnes and ends up beating him in a questionable bout of self-defense. Many novels give the happy ending to the hero that caught the ‘bad guy,’ but Crutcher does not give the happy ending we are expecting; Carver does receive some jail time. Another unhappy ending component is that Sarah’s mom refuses to save her daughter from ongoing pain and suffering, both physical and emotional. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, “Mothers are found to be the neglectful parent in 72% of neglect cases.” All of the other situations in the novel are believable as well. According to Contemporary Authors Online Chris Crutcher has said, “It is a joy to write a tale that is believable, that is real.” Crutcher goes on to state, “Working in the mental health field provides me with some unique perspectives on the human drama – how people get stuck and how they grow” (Contemporary). Crutcher’s novel Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes is unique because of this perspective that he feels so fortunate to have.

Although the characters are believable and the novel is unique, Staying Fat for Sarah Byrnes is often considered for censorship. In 2005 a mother in Westmoreland, New York wanted the novel to be pulled from the high school curriculum due to its “graphic language.” Though she took her attempt to the school board the superintendent Toni Kulak stated, “We’re going to continue to use the book because we think it’s valuable to our students” (School, 20). Though the novel does have some strong language and the issues raised in the novel may make people a bit uncomfortable and on edge, the novel is a powerful novel about the hardships many young adults face. This novel can give a teacher of young adults many opportunities for class discussion. For instance, in a school with high pregnancy rates, a sexual education teacher could use the novel as an outlet for class discussion about the effects of unprotected sex and abortion. Similarly, in a school where bullying is an issue, the teacher can use the novel to spark discussion on how Sarah must have felt when she was called “Scarface” by her peers, or how Eric must have felt when people called him “Moby” or “Fatboy.” There are many other topics for potential discussion in the novel. Censoring a novel with so much potential for molding young minds into compassionate minds would be a critical mistake.

Though Crutcher’s novel is marketed as a novel for young adults, the novel is suitable for adults. This novel is packed full of believable situations that many people can relate to. It can be used to teach adults and young adults about the hardships of growing up in an environment that they may not have experienced. It can be a tool for young adults who are experiencing such living environments to realize they need to learn to trust other adults, and not all adults are bad. Furthermore, the book can be used as a valuable tool for every high school classroom. In conclusion, this novel is a powerful novel that can change the world of many adults, both young or old.

Singing

Singing is very different than talking. I, for one, love to sing at the top of my lungs. Many songs that I sing, which are not hymns, I have found have spiritual qualities. For instance, I love to sing along with U2 and Pink Floyd. Both of these artists point out the failures of man, and the needs of others, as well as the need of something more than materialism. I love to sing in church as well, and every time that I sing, I feel uplifted and closer to God. Song does put us on level ground with one another. Many people use song to express themselves. My husband can usually tell what kind of mood I am in by the music that is playing on the radio. He doesn’t even have to lay eyes on me to be able to tell. When I am down, I listen to uplifting music to pick myself back up.

Beautiful Day

U2

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day

A Psalm for giving thanks. Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Psalm 100:1-2 

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Colossians 3:16

Addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, Ephesians 5:19

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! Psalm 95:1-2

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. James 5:13

Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! Praise him with sounding cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! Psalm 150:1-6

Praise the Lord! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting. Psalm 147:1

What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also; I will sing praise with my spirit, but I will sing with my mind also. 1 Corinthians 14:15

I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me. Psalm 13:6

About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, Acts 16:25

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Psalm 95:1

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

My mouth is filled with your praise, and with your glory all the day. Psalm 71:8

Saying, “I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.” Hebrews 2:12

Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. Hebrews 13:15

And in order that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. As it is written, “Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles, and sing to your name.” Romans 15:9

And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. Mark 14:26

I will sing a new song to you, O God; upon a ten-stringed harp I will play to you, Psalm 144:9

Then Moses and the people of Israel sang this song to the Lord, saying, I will sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously; the horse and his rider he has thrown into the sea. Exodus 15:1

But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth. John 4:23-24

Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts. Psalm 33:3

And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. Matthew 26:30

David again gathered all the chosen men of Israel, thirty thousand. And David arose and went with all the people who were with him from Baale-judah to bring up from there the ark of God, which is called by the name of the Lord of hosts who sits enthroned on the cherubim. And they carried the ark of God on a new cart and brought it out of the house of Abinadab, which was on the hill. And Uzzah and Ahio, the sons of Abinadab, were driving the new cart, with the ark of God, and Ahio went before the ark. And David and all the house of Israel were making merry before the Lord, with songs and lyres and harps and tambourines and castanets and cymbals. 2 Samuel 6:1-23

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. A Song. God shall arise, his enemies shall be scattered; and those who hate him shall flee before him! As smoke is driven away, so you shall drive them away; as wax melts before fire, so the wicked shall perish before God! But the righteous shall be glad; they shall exult before God; they shall be jubilant with joy! Sing to God, sing praises to his name; lift up a song to him who rides through the deserts; his name is the Lord; exult before him! Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. Psalm 68:1-35

But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. John 4:23 

God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth. John 4:24

By the waters of Babylon, there we sat down and wept, when we remembered Zion. On the willows there we hung up our lyres. For there our captors required of us songs, and our tormentors, mirth, saying, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!” How shall we sing the Lord's song in a foreign land? If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget its skill! Psalm 137:1-9

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of the Sons of Korah. Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy! For the Lord, the Most High, is to be feared, a great king over all the earth. He subdued peoples under us, and nations under our feet. He chose our heritage for us, the pride of Jacob whom he loves. Selah God has gone up with a shout, the Lord with the sound of a trumpet. Psalm 47:1-9

Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! Psalm 105:2

The Children Are Innocent

“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.” (NIV Matthew 7:15-20)

I wonder, today, how Fred Phelps, an American pastor heading the Westboro Baptist Church, an independent Baptist church based in Topeka, Kansas, must feel. He has preached his hate speeches over and over again and his church has picketed many, many funerals. The Westboro Baptist Church has planned to picket the funerals of the children, who lost their lives to the gunman at the Sandy Hook school. Phelps claimed that the children's lives were taken because Connecticut has legalized gay marriage. The website boasts, "The dead children of Sandy Hook Elementary are better off dead than to continue being raised for such great wrath and destruction as you have brought to this land. There is no hope for any child of this nation outside of Westboro Baptist Church. You have a duty to teach your children to fear God or else leave them to desolation, darkness and destruction."

What you will not read about when reading releases from the Westboro Baptist Church is the shooting that took the lives of two law abiding police officers, Corporal David Gogian and Jeff Atherly, who lost their lives in an attempt to prevent an possible massacre at a local grocery store in Phelps own home town of Topeka, Kansas. So I ask, Mr. Phelps, what are the citizens of Topeka being punished for? Is it the hate speeches that spew from your own mouth, the likes of which lead to more violence and more hate? What wrong did the innocent officers and innocent families of the officers who died commit? Why did God see it fit to punish these two men?

I do not understand the logic of attacking victims of violent crimes and saying they deserve to be victims due to the actions of others. Innocent children do not have the right to vote; and though the lives of twenty children in the Sandy Hook school were taken, each and every child in that school and that community have been victimized. What did Jesus teach us about children? Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (NIV Matthew 19:14)

The Jesus I follow is the Jesus that teaches love and compassion. He does not condone the killing of the innocent for any reason. Apparently, the Jesus I follow is not the Jesus that Phelps follows. The only conclusion is that they are two separate beings. What I find the most perplexing about Phelps’ teachings is that he is a former Civil Rights activist.

Today, Americans are coming together to have Fred Phelps and his followers recognized as what they are, a hate group. A petition has been initiated and signed by 132,167 Americans as of yet. I had checked the site just a little less than an hour ago, and the petition had only 127,303 signatures. Other Americans have joined the group, Anonymous, which has sent out the following video publicly (I am not associated with Anonymous in any way):

Unfortunately, Fred Phelps is not the only pastor who is preaching hate-filled messages to evangelical congregations. Another pastor spewing hate is Sam Morris, of Old Paths Baptist Church in Fayetteville, Tennessee. Although the Old Paths website claims, “We believe in the separation of the church and its members from worldliness, apostasy, heresy, or any questionable habits that would tarnish our Christian testimony or bring reproach to the name of Christ,” Morris complained about the call for tough gun control laws [italics are mine]. He went on to state that “I guarantee you there’s at least six or seven guns in this place [Old Paths Baptist Church] right now. Amen.”

Amen? To be a Christian is to follow the law of Christ, not to pick and choose which law you choose to follow. What need does a pastor have to facilitate the possession of a firearm? Did Jesus not teach us to turn the other cheek? Had I been sitting in the pews when so much hate was being bellowed through the air, I would have committed myself to never walk in the doors of the Old Paths Baptist Church, Fayetteville, Tennessee again.

So, Morris, how do you view arming yourself against the brothers and sisters Jesus teaches us to love? What do you think Jesus would say had he heard you spouting so much hate in the church? I do not see what need an evangelical pastor has in owning a firearm to protect himself from both Christians and non-Christians alike. There is no need for a pastor to even hunt for food, as food is widely available and far cheaper than hunting licenses; and the needs of the family of the pastor are met by the tithe given by parishioners  Where is your faith, Morris? My Christ and Morris’ Christ must be two different entities, which is the only explanation I have been able to find for our differing opinions on owning firearms.

I am not against owning firearms on the whole; for had it not been for my father’s guns, my siblings and I would have often gone without meat growing up. I am against having military grade automatic and semi-automatic weapons when you are not in the military. No one needs to agree with my opinion, as it is mine alone, and I have the right to my opinion as well as voice that opinion.

My Christ teaches us to love, not hate. My Jesus taught us, “For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous. Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” (NIV 1 John 3:11-16)

Morris’ sermon included, “that authorities should take the body of the suspected shooter, ‘and string him up in public and set his body on fire and leave it out there to let the birds pick his bones.’” This is hate. “Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer,” Jesus taught us. To say that this man’s family should have to suffer even more than they already are due to not only his actions, but also the loss of him, his mother, and the people he killed on Friday is hate. Did Morris forget that the shooter was human? Did he forget that the families that are in turmoil are already suffering? Did he forget that Jesus loved all men, women, and children, especially those marginalized due to their differences including mental illness? I could never imagine how it feels to be the parent of the children and adults that lost their lives and to hear that I am being blamed for someone stealing the life of my loved one away. Does Morris even understand the meaning of the word ‘respect?’

I do not and cannot believe that my Jesus would call for the death of innocent children due to what is taught in the school. Morris believes, “the number of mass shooting were escalating because of schools were government ‘mind-control centers’ that taught ‘junk about evolution’ and ‘how to be a homo… And I want to tell you what evolution teaches - here’s the bottom line - that you’re an animal. That’s what it teaches. So, you’re an animal, you can act like an animal. Amen.’”

Amen? What do small children, the eldest being seven years of age, have to do with what is being taught in their schools. They are not the ones who passed laws, nor are they the ones that have mandated what is to be and is not to be taught in the schools they attend. For a matter of fact, it is the teachers’ responsibilities to teach what they are required to teach in the school. It is the parents’ responsibilities to teach what they want their children to believe and not believe out of the school. There is no crime or sin that calls for the death of innocent children and adults.

The website for Old Paths Baptist Church, Fayetteville, Tennessee goes on to say, “All of our teachings come from the King James Bible. This way we know that we will have unity in doctrine and spirit. Because our doctrine comes straight from God, we do not apologize for our beliefs and standards. Whenever a person gets offended at Bible preaching it is because of a spiritual problem on the part of that person.” Well, I am offended by the beliefs and standards of this church if they do not teach love and acceptance, as Christ has taught us to do. If that means I have a spiritual problem on the part of myself, then so be it. I say; I do not remember reading doctrine that condones the murder of an innocent child in Christ’s teachings.

I do find that the children will be punished for the sins of the father. However, even Exodus 20:5, Exodus 34:6-7, Deuteronomy 5:9, and 1 Corinthians 15:22, that calls for the sins of the father being put on the child, scripture does not mention the death of the child due to the father’s actions. The Bible does cover the death of children according to their fathers’ sins in the following manner: "Fathers shall not be put to death for their sons, nor shall sons be put to death for their fathers; everyone shall be put to death for his own sin.” (Deuteronomy 24:16) “The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.” (Ezekiel 18:20)